To whom it may concern:
I am writing to tell you that someone is out there making a cookie posing as Oreos, Birthday Cake Oreos, specifically, and ruining your reputation. These things are horrible, and they are coming in a package that, aside from a picture of rainbow-sprinkled Oreo (R) cookies, looks exactly like Nabisco brand Oreo (R) cookies. Nothing on the package says otherwise. The imposters are using the 100 year anniversary of Oreos to bring the legendary chocolate sandwich cookie down.
Here’s the 411:
I received a 10-ounce package of Birthday Cake Oreo (R) cookies for my birthday. That night after dinner, I poured myself a tall glass of milk — something I hadn’t done in years, a lot of years — and anxiously peeled open the end of the Oreo (R) cookies package. Upon sliding out the sleeve of Oreos in their neat rows, I noticed the colored sprinkles in the creme filling and thought, “What a great idea!” I selected my first cookie (because indeed there would be a second, a third, and likely a fourth – it was my birthday after all) and happily dunked it in my milk just like the commercials from my childhood taught me. I sunk my teeth into the soggy sandwich and… “What the hell?! This is not an Oreo! What is this madness?” I took another bite and I verified the fraud: artificially-flavored, vanilla icing masked as delicious Oreo (R)creme filling! This is the worst birthday ever!
The Nabisco people I know would never do such a thing! Not without labeling the package with such information to warn buyers that they are NOT getting the famously delicious and addictive Oreo (R) creme filling riddled with colored sprinkles, but some knock-off brand, artificially flavored, vanilla icing flecked with sprinkles trying to take your mind off the fact that you’re NOT eating an original Oreo (R) cookie! Gasp!
You cannot imagine my disappointment that night. I was left with a full, tall glass of cold milk and no palatable, dunkable cookie to knock it back with. Oreo (R) would never do such a thing! Nabisco, get after this… before your good name is sullied forever. I, for one, am now suspect of every Oreo (R) package. What kind of crap creme filling am I going to find next?
If I want artificially-flavored, generic vanilla frosting in my cookies, I know how to make that myself. It’s called the baking aisle and a box of honey grahams.
Please take care of this.
Signed,The Birthday Girl and her tall glass of milk without her favorite cookie 😦
Totally Living 