Life Lessons from Amelia Bedelia… and some baking secrets and slip-ups

Gingersnaps Take 3

Warning: This post contains perceptively harsh language that may or may not offend you. It is included because, well, it’s what was said in real life and I attempt only to relay real life stories to you, unless otherwise notified. Feel free to stop reading now.

Do you remember the children’s book heroine Amelia Bedelia, the maid who did everything on her to-do list in the literal sense? When she was told to “dress the chicken” for diner she would literally put a little outfit on the chicken. “Draw the drapes” meant she would get out an easel and draw a picture of the drapes. And “prune the hedges” led Amelida Bedelia to literally stick prunes all over the hedges. I thought all this was hysterical.

Her employer would always return home and get so angry, I wondered why she kept her around (there were several books in the series). But somehow Amelida Bedelia would do something to save the day and everyone in the story would end up laughing. Perhaps that was my most favorite part: laughing at the ridiculous things that happen in life, no matter how nerve-racking they can be. And this brings me to my afternoon of baking today and my friend Stacie.

My goal:

One double batch of gingersnaps with candied orange peel and a nap before 5:30 pm.

How it went down:

I measured out the dry ingredients at about 2:30. The butter was already softened so I creamed that with the white and brown sugars. Just before combining the creamed mixture and the dry ingredients, I realized I put ALL the sugar listed in the ingredient list into the batter when half was supposed to be reserved for rolling the batter balls in before baking.

I tasted the mixture. OMG, way to sweet! I can’t use it! Dang!

I didn’t want to waste an almost perfectly good batter base, so I looked up some other cookie recipes that started with sugar, butter, and eggs – practically all of them, of course. Amazingly, the recipe for chocolate chip cookies on the back of my two-pound bag of Ghiradelli chocolate chips called for almost the exact amounts of all three ingredients I had going if I one-and-a-halved the recipe. So, I made a one-and-a-half batch of chocolate chip cookie batter.

But my friends were expecting the gingersnaps, so I went back for “gingersnaps take 2.”

I had set out two more sticks of butter to soften while I was making the chocolate chip cookie batter. They weren’t quite there so I gambled with using the microwave. (It’s a fine line between softened and melted, and when the recipe calls for softened butter, it means softened, not melted.  It worked. (Click here for a great NY Times article on the secrets of baking with butter.)

I added the sugars and the egg once again beating according to the directions. Hmmm, the batter seemed a little thinner than I remembered it should be. I went back to my recipe.

Gosh darnit! I didn’t use enough butter! Seriously? I screwed up the recipe twice?! In one afternoon?! Yup. I did. And I found myself laughing, as this is generally how the baking story goes with me.

My nap was long gone by then. “Gingersnaps take 3.”

I took two more sticks of butter out of the fridge and went straight for the microwave this time. If it melts, too bad. It’s going in. It melted. It went in.

Now I was surely going to be late for Stacie picking me up at 5:30. I was making an extra dozen of my cookies to cover her cookies for the party, so surely she would come help me out. I sent her a text:

“i keep f-ing up the cookies. if ur planning to leave my house right at 530 I wont be riding with u.”

She responded: “How much longer do you need? They better be perfect.”

“bitch! Probably 30 mins. Yeah dont offer to help or anything.”

“Ha! I just got out of the shower and still have to go to the store. I will be there in time to help you load the cookies in the car. 6:00.”

“lol! Now that’s a true friend.”

At 6:01 pm I got another text “Im at the gate. You better be ready to jump in…cuz it is just a drive by”. (She’s always so friggin’ prompt!)

And when she dropped me off after the dinner party, she said, “You better hurry and get out of the car because I’m gonna fart.”

Introducing… my best friend Stacie, aka the PennySaver Girl. (For the backstory on that, click here.)

Ya just gotta laugh!

Making a statement, starting a revolution, and launching a philanthropy

“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing — then we truly live life.” – Greg Anderson

Okay, so I thought the photos yesterday were self-explanatory, and yes, they were, but ya’ll are picking up the wrong explanation. My daughter Therese got the piercing (it was a Senior year statement), I got faint. The piercing personnel caught on before I did and made me lie down and suck on a lollipop. So at this point in our lives, Therese is the only rebel, at least in that regard.

For my part, I am revolutionizing goal-writing (just needed a segue there, I’m totally exaggerating). But this year I did take my goal writing to another level.

This October marked two years my friend Linda have been meeting for what started as a writing group turned what we affectionately call a wise person group, except that it’s just two of us. (Can a group be just 2 people? So far it works with just the two of us, so we guard it carefully.) Anyway, a couple weeks ago at our “meeting”, we wrote down our goals for 2010 and then decided to write ourselves a letter from a year in the future as if the goals we had in mind had already been achieved.

So mine started with something like, “Dear Hilary, Wow! What a great year! You were so smart for following your intuition on that internship idea….” We each then folded our own letter, put it in an envelope addressed to ourselves with the date one year from that day written on it. We exchanged envelopes so that next year on the mail date, I will drop Linda’s letter in the mail and she will drop mine in the mail. Oh the pressure! (Except that I have seriously forgotten what I wrote already. We’ll see how the subconscious really works now.)

What I like about this way of doing goals is that it gets the emotions involved. Listing my goals seldom does much for me anymore. I have learned that emotion causes something to manifest. When I wrote my letter to myself, I felt as if I was really writing from a place where things I wanted to achieve had already occurred. (I’ve also learned it’s the things that have that “deep meaning” and “need” for expression that are shoo-ins as long as you don’t quit early.)

So if you’re not into resolutions (which I’m not into just because they pretty much come with the built in message that they’re gonna be broken), I encourage you to at least spend some time “feeling” what would bring you joy and excitement in 2010. Revel in it as if it already happened. Maybe even write yourself a letter.

And if nothing I’ve written is inspiring you at this point, I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time. I’ll make it up to you with this: www.smilesacrossthemiles.org

Little Dog and friends have been working overtime the last few weeks on a photographic philanthropy project benefitting the marines at Camp Pendleton. You can help them achieve their goal of growing this project beyond Southern California by passing it on.

Thanks!

From Freedom of Religion to Freedom of Expression… and some corny stuff in between

I just finished editing my daughter’s paper on freedom of religion. It’s been a long time since I’ve studied the Constitution of the United States, and I’m pretty sure I spent most of my time in that class just trying to stay awake, so I had to look a few things up (you don’t even want to know).

Luckily, two days ago my amazon.com box arrived, contents among which included The U.S. Constitution And Fascinating Facts About It (supplemental text by Terry L. Jordan).

I know, I know. “It’s about time!” You’re totally right, I’m on it, give me a break. And I’m already learnin’ stuff.

Did you know Thanksgiving Day was established as a national holiday (the first one on November 26, 1789) to give thanks for the new Constitution?

Gosh, I thought Thanksgiving was about the pilgrims being stoked the Indians taught them how to grow corn. What was with all the hats and feathers back in elementary school? Can you even imagine a world without popcorn, cracker jacks, tortilla chips, and cornbread. Gasp! I can’t even go there! Thanksgiving Day totally made sense to me all these years, but now I find I have some debunking to do.

So, yeah, I’m gonna read this little book. It’s one of my goals for 2010. Have you made yours yet? Tomorrow I’ll share more on this.

In the meantime, here’s a fun photo essay on what my rebellious daughter did over her Thanksgiving holiday. Could a mother be more proud? Embarrassed, yes. More proud, no. (Photos courtesy Little Dog)

‘Tis the Season of Giving and Other Shenanigans

Hi!

It’s been a while. Fifty-six days to be exact by the time this posts. Sorry about that.

I must thank all of you who told me you were missing me on the blogosphere (or for some of you it was just my poop stories, thank you very much). You helped bring me back. And to express my thanks further, and in the spirit of giving  – ’tis the season, you know (shouldn’t it just always be the season for giving?) – today I begin the Ten Days of Chriskwanikah Blogfest.

I know I risk losing readership with what I’m about to say (Jesus is the reason for the season, afterall). However, realistically Jesus just isn’t the only One inspiring holidays this time of year (okay, maybe He is the only One, but you know what I’m trying to say). It’s like Snickers isn’t the only candy bar. No offense to the Snickers people, but some people have a hankerin’ for a Heath Bar.

So, in consideration of the twelve days of Christmas, the eight days of Chanukah, and I don’t know what number Kwanzaa associates itself with and I want to get a bike ride in before I go back to work so I’m not going to spend time looking it up right now but I am interested (as long as feasting is involved and no one is killing each other over it, I’m all for it), I give you the Ten Days of Chriskwanikah Blogfest (mostly because apparently I need some kind of challenge or fest to keep me on task and ten feels like a good number).

So, hi! Geez, I’ve missed you. I’d love to say it will never happen again, but yeah, it will.

And so to start this blogfest off, I leave you with something for my poop-obsessed fans – yes, sadly, the plural on “fans” is intentional.

Yesterday I got the scoop on my cookie party co-host’s Airedale Terrier’s post-polish-off-the-fruit-and-nut-platter BM. (Quick background: annual cookie party took place Sunday. My co-host has a giant plush-looking pooch who took advantage of a terrific opportunity when the goodie table was un-womanned). Now, I’m talkin’ at least a pound of apricots, cherries, cranberries, cashews, and dark chocolate almond bark were consumed before he was caught red-nosed and effusely scolded. (I immediately made a mental note to ask Simone how it all came out the next day.)

Simone described her reaction to the event that took place about eighteen hours after the fruit-feeding frenzy: “OMG those are the biggest f’n lima beans I’ve ever seen! Did we even have lima beans in anything yesterday?!” (For those of you who were not at the party, no, there were no lima beans.) She went on to say the task required eight doggie bags and there was some projectiling involved. God bless her! (If you haven’t figured it out by now, the photo in this post is your clue.)

And to anyone who said, “She’ll never blog again,” Cheers!

Bear with me here…

Believe that with your feelings and your work you are taking part in the greatest; the more strongly you cultivate this belief, the more will reality and the world go forth from it. – Rainer Maria Rilke

Things are shifting for me.

I know this because I had a dream Sunday night in which someone broke into my house and moved some of my most precious possessions (my computer and my bikes – they didn’t find my KitchenAid mixer hidden under the sink), and then today during my nap I dreamed that I was pulling my tongue apart like string cheese, which I’ve been informed means I’m shedding my old ways and starting over. Yup, that feels like guidance. I’m on it.

So, one thing that has to change is my late night writing hours. I can’t keep this up along with my growing work schedule, changing life, and the upcoming holiday festivities with accompanying baking schedule, at least not without slacking on my bike rides.

Oh, the blogging will continue. I love it as a creative outlet and as a way to connect with all of you. I will learn to write earlier and to keep it brief (Dude! I can hear you cheering! This is no guarantee.). Please bear with me during this process as I first catch up on some sleep (because my cousin Brandon is right, it is the best beauty treatment) and work through a new learning curve.

Thanks for being here with me.

I love you guys!

The Meaning of Beauty: Dove vs Cindy

Will I continue with the Meaningful Beauty Cindy Crawford skincare line?

AFTER

A Confession:

When I set out to write yesterday’s post-challenge post, I had decided in my usual “yeah, right” skeptical way that the answer to that question was, “Sadly, no.” Sadly, because I believe people might make a decision to try or not try the product line based on what I say here, and sadly, because I want Cindy to win. But, when I posted the photos side by side and looked at them more closely, I had to humbly reconsider. I actually like the effect (for the most part) the products have on my skin.

Now, it could be the photography, and this is highly likely, as the lighting, the focus and even the sides photographed are different. But blame it on vanity or the amount of beauty brainwashing my 36 years have gifted me, I plan to continue using the MBCC line for at least the 90 days I have product for (which means another dreaded follow-up post on this topic), but I want to give Cindy a fair shot and I want to research the cleanser/toner issue.

Why? Because this is what I do.

The Cleanser Toner Issue:

The MBCC Pore Refining Toner is applied after the cleanser. Now, I’m not sure what the cleanser really accomplishes because every time I use the toner (EVERY TIME), the used cotton ball is filthy which would seem to indicate that my skin is still dirty AFTER the cleanser. I think if I were to rub my face with toner ’til that cotton ball came out clean, I’d use up the bottle in two weeks. Is my face that dirty? All the time? What is the cleanser cleansing if it’s leaving all this filth on my face for toner-filled cotton balls to mop up? I pondered the possibility that the toner is like paint-thinner and it’s actually rubbing the pigment off my face. Maybe? Ultimately, I decided I’d generously give my face two cotton balls of toner each night and call it “clean” so I could proceed with the rest of the regimen and get on with my life.

A Quick Rundown on the Rest of the MBCC Product Line:

The Meaningful Beauty Cindy Crawford Line.

Eye Cream. I like this, though it may just be the patting around the eye with my ring finger I like. I like doing that.

Glowing Serum. Sticky (see previous post).

Day Moisture. I don’t like the sunscreen smell, and it’s on the oily side for me.

Night Fluide. I like this. It’s light.

Facial Masque. A traditional mud-like masque, which I don’t prefer. I’m not sure it’s doing anything, but the brochure says it is and the process makes me feel like it is.

Decollete and Neck Crème. I like this too. It’s light, feels good. Makes me feel like I’m doing something for my up-until-now-neglected décolleté and neck, but I don’t think I’ll ever know if it’s really doing something.

(And I said I hated this detailed-reporting business!)

Hilary addresses Little Dog’s comment on the Dove video post:

In an earlier post, LD said, “So I’m a bit confused by the whole anti-beauty industry stance [referring to the Dove video] co-existing with your Cindy Crawford Beauty Challenge. I know as a man I can never fully understand, but I wonder if even you understand.”

My response: I think that when many of us buy “beauty” products, what we are paying for is not youth and beauty, but the peace of mind that comes with believing these products will bring us love and adoration and safety and security and value and meaning. Why else would I really care? If I felt completely at peace with how I look today and how I will look as I age, would I spend my money and time and energy doing something like this? I don’t think so. There is a part of me that is afraid that I won’t be loved if I don’t look young forever. That is the part of me that does the MBCC Challenge.

What I love about what Dove is doing is that they are starting the process of undoing decades of brainwashing so that our daughter’s daughters may just get to grow up knowing (actually KNOWING) that there is nothing wrong with them as they are, that who they are is beautiful. There is a part of me that has embraced this already. That part of me is at peace.

Until that part of me becomes the whole of me, Dove and Cindy must coexist.

I don’t know if I have this right, but that’s what I’ve got for now.

Honeymoon’s over, it’s back to business… and Cindy.

While Little Dog was distracting me with last week’s antics, a significant milestone was being reached: I passed the four week mark of The Meaningful Beauty Cindy Crawford Challenge, or what LD calls, “slathering Cindy on my face”.

It is important that you know I am a total novice in skincare (and photography, which goes without saying). I soak up the sun (often without sunscreen), I am a potential sucker for beauty gimmicks (obviously), and I buy skincare products because people I believe I can trust (whether I know them personally or not) recommend them, not because I know anything about the art and science of skincare (though I do have a handle on the free radical damage situation).

Warning: Complaining ahead.

I actually dislike such detail-oriented work as giving a report of my findings from a study (this was a case of committing to a challenge without thinking it through), so following through with this “after” report is torture for me, and much sulking and pouting about it preceded this writing. But I said I’d do it, people are demanding it, and so I will see this through (See the sacrifices I make for you people!).

After much reflecting on my experience the last four weeks and scrutinizing my poor quality, un-enhanced before and after photos, here is my not-very-scientific-and-not-likely-to-be-published-in-a-peer-reviewed-journal bottom line report on the Meaningful Beauty Cindy Crawford skincare line.

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

From the brochure: “In just 4 weeks, an independent study proved that Meaningful Beauty will”:

1. “Smooth wrinkles” – I don’t notice an overall huge difference in general, but immediately after I apply the Glowing Serum, my smile lines do appear diminished. I haven’t clocked the exact duration of this effect. The “after” photos were taken about 3 hours after product application. Forehead lines appear same.

AFTER

BEFORE

2. “Reduce skin blotchiness” – Skin does appear more clear and even-toned (to be fair, lighting could be a factor in all of these photos).

3. “Improve skin moisture” – YES! But this is where I question the statement that the products are suitable for all skin types. Perhaps “suitable “is accurate, but in my opinion,  I wonder if it’s optimal. Yes, my skin is definitely more moist, I believe “dewy” is the beauty term, but it’s too dewy for me, such that it feels kind of sticky much of the time. I have never noticed my skin feeling this way before using the MBCC line.

AFTER (one problem: I'm comparing a left-eye before photo with a right-eye after photo, and I don't feel like redoing the photo right now.)

I don’t know if this is considered healthier as far as skin goes, but I don’t care for the stickiness. Is it possible a less oily product would be better. Regardless, I have to admit, my face does look fresher in the “after” photos though.

4. “Decrease skin roughness” – I don’t notice a difference, but I can’t say I felt any roughness prior to the MBCC Challenge.

5. “Reduce skin redness” – Not much redness noted to start, but again, my face does appear more even toned.

Other observations:

1. Cost – The price is right. If all the products actually last the 90 daysfor which they are purportedly supplied, then the total skincare cost is about $45.00 per month, very reasonable and competitive when that includes everything (cleanser, toner, masque, wrinkle therapy, sunscreen, moisturizer, eye cream).

2. Product Quantity – So far it appears all of the products, except one, will last the 90 days for which they are intended. The only product I would have to order more often is the toner because it takes at least two applications per use for me to feel my face is clean as demonstrated by the “used” cotton ball. (More on the toner tomorrow.)

3. Time – Using the whole line did increase my before-bed and morning routine, not a plus for someone who is late to everything anyway, though the ritual grew on me, and I continued to be late for everything.

Will I continue with Cindy? The answer in tomorrow’s post. (Neiner, neiner, neiner!)

Poetic Clarification

Referring to the October 15^th post, someone said to me, “It seemed so serious that it was serious, that it couldn’t have been serious.” Huh?!

Yeah, she thought yesterday’s post was a spoof, and she wasn’t the only one. So, let me try to explain briefly (which is no small task).

Some days ago, I received advice from my aunt, which included,

“It’s time for you to face GOD…. Start telling God you love him/her/it and that you feel his/her/it/s love in return…. feel God’s love. Sit there and feel it for as long as it takes to notice the peace, the warmth and the comfort.”

Having finally learned to recognize and trust guidance when it comes, I abandoned my usual spiritual practices and I did exactly what she said. To my surprise, with ease, I felt God… bigtime. (Note: My experience with this practice comes after more than 10 years of seeking, though it certainly doesn’t have to take that long.)

Within 24 hours of my God experience, I realized I was in love with Little Dog, and I wrote a blogpost that I didn’t post right away. I was approaching “pretty sure” that he was in love with me, but I needed confirmation and I was done waiting around. I emailed Little Dog the post I had written after my epiphany and asked for his approval prior to public display (it seemed only fair). After making me wait almost an hour for his answer, til 2:10 in the morning mind you, Little Dog confirmed my hunch and bravely approved publication (you can read it here if you haven’t already).

So, yes this is serious. No, it is not a serious spoof.

Fast forward to now, 1:14 in the morning on October 16^th. I am paging through my Discovery Journal where I find a poem I had pasted inside over five years ago.

There is no title, but it is attributed to Pedro Arrupe, SJ.

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than

falling in love

in a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with,

what seizes your imagination,

will affect everything.

It will decide

what will get you out of bed

in the morning,

what you do with your evenings,

how you spend your weekends,

what you read, who you know,

what breaks your heart,

and what amazes you

with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love,

and it will decide everything.

Find God, find Love. It is the same. I finally “get it.” Thank you.

Little Dog, are you in love with me?

Maybe not, but it’s kinda coming together now. I mean, you had frozen pizzas shipped from Chicago for my first Pizzapalooza, and you sent me flowers on my birthday years ago, and you took care of me and my friends when I celebrated my 30^th (?) birthday in San Francisco, and you read and comment on my blog everyday. You’ve even slipped in some really nice things between your usual snarky sarcasm lately.

I always thought you were just being creative and nice and kind. Do guys just do things like that for those reasons? I just figured I was serving as your number 1, or 7, procrastination device, or my blog was a way to increase your online presence.

Little Dog, are you in love with me?

I realize the last time I did something like this I ended up marrying a short guy who needed citizenship, and we know how that story ended. So I know this is a serious risk. But something hit me in the midst of my temper tantrum during the resistance blog (and, well, your clean shaven face may have had something to do with it). And this is what I do. I live the questions. I know no other way.

Little Dog, are you in love with me?

And I realize I’m messing with our professional relationship (though professional is a serious overstatement), because, like, whether your answer is yes or no, things could be weird from this point on. That’s okay, I think you only have 3 paid sessions left. I can eat it. I need to know.

Are you in love with me?

If the answer is no, no worries, I can maintain my hopes of landing a 6′3 dance partner. Trust me, many problems are avoided if you’re NOT in love with me, though my Aunt Paulette and Stacie would be happy.

But if the answer is yes, well, …then I have another post to write.

And your answer better be f-ing yes. (Or this is going to turn into a disappointing post. Though it will probably boost my stats, so it’s all good.)

Introducing… Oop!

I’ve heard you like hearing about Poop and Oop, so I thought I’d use some blog space to share a little more about them. Today, it’s Oop’s turn.

Half of Poop and Oop of movie party and spontaneous margaritas fame, Oop and I get along so well because we are intellectual equals. Tonight, a two-hour car ride provided both the time and confined space for our collective genius to run rampant. Try to keep up.

Oop: “So how about Obama and the Nobel Peace Prize?”

Hilary: “WTF?”

Oop: “WTFF?!”

Hilary: “Flying?”

Oop: “For.”

Hilary: “Oh. Yeah.”

That was on the way to our meeting. On the way back, things got a little more exciting.

Oop: “Turn right up here.”

Hilary: “Okay.”

Oop: “Turn right at the light.”

Hilary: “Okay.”

Oop: “You’re gonna need to turn right.”

Hilary: “I am.”

Oop: “No, that’s left.”

Hilary; “Oh, you’re right.”

Oop: “Yeah, I should have said your other left.”

And shortly after that.

Hilary: “So, did you eat anything at the meeting?”

Oop: “Nope.”

Hilary: “Why not?”

Oop: “I didn’t know what anything was.”

Hilary: “So you ate nothing?”

Oop: “Well, I knew what the bread was, so I had a piece of bread.”

Hilary: “Oh. Okay.”

Yeah, so Oop is a little out of my league, especially when it comes to directions and tying her shoes, but I hear you will become like the five people you hang out with the most, so you should surround yourself with people you want to be like. This is why I choose my friends wisely.

And here, a bit more on Oop. Not quite as stimulating as the riveting dialogue we frequently share, but these are pretty good reasons to hang with the Oopster, too.

Oop, aka Ruth Yuhas, artist extraordinaire.

Balancing Act, Ruth Yuhas

And she ties her shoes cool too!

You can see more of Oop’s artwork at www.ruthyuhas.com and you can meet Oop in person at The Beverly Hills Art Show Affaire In The Gardens at Booth 409 on Saturday Oct 17^th and Sunday Oct 18^th from 10 AM – 5 PM. Learn more at www.beverlyhills.org